i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
