I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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