I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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