apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
