Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
