i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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