Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
where are my eyebrows?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
