Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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