the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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