He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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