This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Mom said you looked used
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
