Buhtt sex?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
