I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
