the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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