He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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