Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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