Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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