Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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