I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
