And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
