Is it normal to miss your booty call?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
