Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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