what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
