can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My ass is underappreciated
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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