is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize