What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
