Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
