First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
