Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
