I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
