i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
