yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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