i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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