My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
