I met the friendliest cop last night
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
