Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think your dad took our porno
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
