i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
