Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
