Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
