the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
