And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
