So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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