i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
