I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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