Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
