I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
