I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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