Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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