when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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