My room smells like vodka and shame
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
