she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just invented taco cereal.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
