you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Floor bacon is actually really good
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
