I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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