You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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