Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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