i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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