the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm too high and old for this...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
