grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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