North Korea, Best Korea!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
