My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize