She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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